Introducing the Board Bong

Snowboarders have got a bad rap as selfish, knuckle-dragging louts who wear ugly clothes, cause mayhem on the slopes by hitting every feature along with the occasional skier, and cinch their pants around their knees exposing more of their butt crack than anyone wants to see.  

Q.  What do you call a snowboarder without a girlfriend?  A. Homeless.

But is the dirtbag reputation really warranted?  Let’s examine the facts at Selkirk Snowcat Skiing.  Each year, about 20% of our guests are snowboarders and they are, for the most part, middle aged, professional folk who enjoy the backcountry as just as much as their skiing counterparts.  In a typical year, I don’t see much in the way of butt crack. Their clothes, while baggier than ski gear, rarely feature camouflage motifs or skulls with blood gushing from the eyeballs.

Q. What do you three snowboarders in the back seat call their driver?  A. Officer.

Last week, one of our returning guests who happens to be a snowboarder in a cat full of other riders brought a very thoughtful and generous gift to the lodge.  Having watched the nightly/weekly presentation of the shotski for years, he felt it was time to dole out on-mountain punishment in a way that would better reflect his own culture.  And so the board bong was born. Until Oct 17th, this may have raised more than a few eyebrows, but hey, its legal. Now, instead of being forced to swill a shot of some heinous alcohol, the snowboarder, or anyone for that matter, has the option to accept punishment for their transgressions via a pungently aromatic bowl of now legal BC BYOB (Bring Your Own Bud).   It’s high time we skiers open our collective minds to the snowboard evolution and shelve the snowboarder jokes.

Q. What are a snowboarder’s last words? A. Hey dude, watch this!”

Sorry…old habits die hard.

Rob G. presents the Board Bong (hand painted by his daughter) to staff and guests at Selkirk Snowcat to be used as an alternative to the traditional shot ski for those inclined.

    Don't forget to Share This Post

Sign up for our quarterly newsletter